So a huge problem that I had in the past was comparing myself to other women. I did it all throughout high school and as much as I hate to admit it, I still do it today. Subconsciously.
I always catch myself thinking how much I wish I could look like this girl because she’s SO pretty and guys always go for her. I think that’s where my weak point hits, when I think that I’m not as attractive to guys as much as I truly am.
Guys are attracted to me, they just aren’t as open as it. They look when I walk by and I’m sure someone has feelings or thinks I’m the most beautiful women, he’s ever seen. But it’s just the fact that they aren’t chasing me or they aren’t verbal about it is what makes me think that maybe I’m not as pretty or as attractive.
Something that I use to let bother me was how many likes I got on social media…
Good ol’ social media. Creating insecurity problems since it was created.
I would always see other girls get a ton of more likes on their pictures or selfies then I ever would and I would be left thinking… “why?” and questioning myself and my appearance.
“Why is she better than me?” “Am I not attractive enough?” “What does she have that I don’t have?”
But I feel like that’s just social media and society trying to play with your emotions and your confidence and man, do they love playing that game.
Society will tell you to look a certain way, like a “super model” or a celebrity. You have to look this way or dress this way to be attractive…
Well, that’s not true. Whether you know it or not, someone is going to find you attractive. But not everyone will and that’s okay. If you have to have the mindset that every guy or every girl HAS to be physically attracted to you, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment. My tip for you is to be attracted to yourself, because that’s the only opinion that actually matters to you.* And then if someone doesn’t find you attractive, oh well, you’ll find someone who is worth your time.
*Now, there is a difference between loving yourself and finding yourself attractive and being cocky. Confidence is beauty and strong, Cockiness/ being conceited is not beauty or strong, it’s just rude and annoying.
Social media wasn’t created to make you feel pretty crappy about yourself but there is a correlation linking the amount of usage and self esteem issues…
“The second study examined the impact of temporary exposure to social networking sites on state self-esteem. The results show that participants experienced lower state self-esteem and poorer self-evaluations after exposure to a person with a high activity social network. Participants also had poorer self-evaluations after exposure to an upward healthy comparison target (someone who presented themselves as more healthy, young, and vibrant). Generally speaking, viewing social media profiles with positive content (upward comparison on health, fitness, active social network) resulted in poorer state self-esteem and more negative self-evaluations. ”
New York Behavioral Health
As a society, we are so use to basing our worth on numeral numbers, such as, weight, height, GPA and the amount of likes. But can we actually count our self-worth in numeral numbers?
No! No, we can’t, nor should we. How can you weigh the beauty of a heart or a soul? No, you can’t. So it’s time to stop trying to put our self worth in numbers or in things that can change. And start realizing the self worth in ourselves for who we are, not all on what we look like. And that will automatically boost your self confidence and help you find the beauty in yourself.
Also, as hard as it may be.. we (or you) need to stop comparing ourselves to other women. And honesty, it’s not just women who do it. Men does it too. They might not think they have enough muscles or that they aren’t that attractive because they don’t look the same and they don’t have abs, etc.
Well, this needs to stop. Personally, I’ve been trying to not compare myself to other people (especially, friends) who get more likes than me on facebook or IG. Likes on these posts (just like weight and height) are just a number, they only have a numerical number to it and that’s it. It doesn’t measure your self worth.
*Side note: Can we all just appreciate chibird for all the amazing and cute drawing they do. Like THANK YOU SO MUCH♥♥♥
I really hope this post helps you realize that you are beautiful for who you are, flaw and all. Physically, mentally, emotionally and spirituality.
As I was doing some research, I came across the National Association for Self Esteem (and as always, I got super excited) and if it’s an amazing tool to help boost (and learn) your self esteem! So please, check it out! Send it to a friend! Because it’s pretty awesome. Man, I LOVE mental health resources!
With Lots of Love,
*PS, I have an amazing friend who did a blog post about social media and our mental health. If you liked this post, you’ll love hers! Please, please check it out!