Posted in Life, Mental Health Awareness, Tips/Advice

Social Media and Mental Health

Something we all use and love now a days (well, its love and hate)… social media.

If you’re like me and always on it… it can be very bad… but it can be very good.

I saw this quote about social media and it’s becoming something I want to share to everyone, especially the newer generations..

social media

Side note: Isn’t this quote amazing, Dave Willis you rock for this quote… if he is the one who even made the quote but whoever made this quote. It’s amazing and I’m using it as a life quote. One day in my little, medium size or big office as a high school guidance counselor, I will have this quote (along with many others) on the wall. Maybe little info guides about social media and mental health!

Anyways, social media can be very helpful. It can connect us to a new type of “social support” but of course, it’s not a physical social support, which is proven better for our health. Physical social support but realistically, not everyone always has access to that. So social media can really help in that sense. Apps like Talklife or vent can be very helpful. Other mental health social media apps where they provide a community is super helpful to people. Myself included!

Use your social media to make an impact in the world. I know I have an Instagram, Twitter, tumblr and FB for Lots of Love by Jade but I don’t always use them because I’m too busy with college and other things… and honestly, on my own social media for my personal self. And that isn’t always good. I do still post encouraging pictures and quotes and tell others how beautiful they are and compliment people so I’m not completely a lost cause.

I did a presentation with 2 friends on social media and positive psychology and it was very helpful. I actually learn that breaking up bad social media habits just by complimenting and positively commenting  on other’s posts on FB or IG or tweeting on twitter. Breaking up that endless scrolling that we are all use to.

There is a correlation between depression and social media use, it’s not proved. Correlation does not mean causation (for those who don’t speak psychology, correlation means a relations between two variables). But we are seeing more cases of depression and psychologists do believe that social media does play a role in it (especially with self concept)

I also learned that Instagram is the most risk factor app when it comes to mental health (and youtube being the best) and there is studies done about it.


♦I’ll post the link here. Check it out and read it. I honestly do recommend it because it is super interesting. 


But with Instagram, most people will start to compare their selves to other’s, I know I do it too. I’m just randomally going through IG and I see this gorgeous girl with a perfect body and yeah, I feel pretty down because I wish I was that pretty or my body was a little better than I am.  And that’s really unhealthy and really bad for you.

It decreases your self esteem and that’s not what we want. We want you to love you for all of you. Because you deserve that.

Something to keep in mind, they don’t always look like that and that picture was probably one of 30 that she chose from. And it probably took at least 20-30 minutes to capture the perfect picture.

“Never compare your offstage to everyone’s front stage.” 

I love that quote. So much. And I use it to remind myself that I’m beautiful too. And that may be hard for me to do some days.

People put their best photos, and their best moments of their life on social media, that’s the point of it to make people aware of what they do.

It’s a social comparison and a social competition, which you DON’T have to be a part of.  

But of course, like I said before… not all social media is bad. Social media has a good side too. I already touch on the social support, but studies shown that looking at your own Facebook profile can increase your self esteem.
And things like the “This Day” from Facebook where they show you what you posted on this day for however long you had Facebook can really make you happier because it shows you memories that you can hold on to and smile about.

And most importantly, make the best out of your social media.

Post more positivity, encouragement and inspiration on your social media. Compliment people on your feed, it might be weird at first but you might make a new friend. Show your amazing personality and heart through social media and we can make more positive than negatives when it comes to social media.

Let’s change that fact that social media can decrease your self esteem to increase it. And change starts with you. (And me)

Keep it positive, keep it inspiration, keep loving and as always, Keep it dorky.

With Lots of Love,



Posted in 28 Days of Loving Yourself, Life, Mental Health Awareness, Tips/Advice

28 Days of Loving Yourself: Days 4 and 5

Day 4: Trust Yourself

Trusting yourself is very important and it goes along the lines of day 1 of nothing being so hard on yourself or stop putting yourself down. You are important and you are just as important as anyone else in your life! You need to trust yourself to make decision,  and of it’s the wrong one or a mistakes.. it’s okay don’t be so hard on yourselves. Everyone makes mistakes (and everyone has them days because nobody’s perfect… thank you Hannah Montana for that very catchy and encouraging song). Mistakes are a pathway to where we are going in life so be thankful for them but also learn from them. I love talking to others about my past guy mistakes (I call it story time with Jade) because I was so so stupid trusting certain guys in my life and that was my mistake, but I want to say I learned from it but that’s still in the air. But the reason why I tell others about my mistakes is to hope they don’t make the same mistakes as I did.

Your mistakes may hurt you and make you angry, but battle scars show us where we came from and how much we grew and that’s so important. So trust yourself because no one is better at telling you how to live your life and get the best out of YOUR experiences than yourself.

Day 5: Eat Your favorite Dessert

Ooh, I do this tip all the time, I love dessert, I love candy, I love sweets! But Eat your favorite dessert because you need to treat yourself. I know that some people are on a diet but it’s okay to eat your favorite dessert once in a while. Desserts and sugars won’t kill you (too much, of course but too much of anything is bad) . Plus a way to keep a healthy diet is by getting ALL the food categories of the pyramid and sugar and sweets is at the tippy top!

So eat that cookie, eat that slice of cheesecake or cake or pie, or if you like fruits as your sweet, eat that too. I love fruits but eat what you love. Because that makes you happy.

Keep it Dorky,

With lots of love,


Posted in 28 Days of Loving Yourself, Life, Tips/Advice

28 Days of Loving Yourself

Since February is the only month that has 28 days (unless it’s a leap year..) and is known for the love month because of valentine’s day.

Some people feel extremely left out because they don’t have a spouse, our Significant Other. But Something that is helpful is using this month to focus on love for yourself because that is extremely important.

You don’t need to only be single to celebrate 28 days to love yourself, and yes just like Valentine’s day, it shouldn’t just be done in February but sometimes, you just don’t have any self love or you’re really insecure. I know I use to be super insecure, I had no self confidence and I hated myself. So something like this is a great way to start because it can be hard to love yourself.

real prize

Especially how society is now a days and society tells you “nobody’s perfect” but you have to look a certain way or be a certain weight to be considered beautiful (BTW, so NOT true.) And since the rise of social media, it’s harder to love yourself when you’re constantly reminded on how ‘beautiful’ everyone else is.

But just remember, people put their best pictures out on their Instagram or Facebook. Just remember this quote:

“The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.” – Steve Furtick

But I will blog about that another time and in more in depth (YAY!)


…So the 28 Days of Loving Yourself is just 28 days of different tips that I have for you(that I will be doing as well!)! Since it’s February 4th, I will catch up on the 3 days I missed ( I decided I was doing this last night… whoops..)


Day 1: Stop Putting yourself down!

I know this can be super hard, I get it. I know for that I constantly put myself down because I use to be a complete perfectionist. But everything can’t be perfect. No one is perfect, nothing is perfect. Everything and everyone has flaws. And that’s okay, I started to learn that flaws are beautiful too.

When I think of this Day 1 Tip, I think of 2 quotes.

Quote 1:

Japan broken.jpg

And it’s really important because we break and we bend (of course theoretically) because of everything we struggle in life. And I know this concept in Japan (more better reason to love Japan) that broken objects are repaired with gold because it is a part of history and adds to the beauty. I love it, when I think of my insecurities (and when I feel broken in general) .. I think of this quote and it makes me appreciate my flaws a little bit more


Quote 2:


This one is another quote that I love, it just says that you might find yourself ugly because of your flaws or your mistakes. But just because you can’t see your worth or beauty doesn’t mean it isn’t there because everyone else can see your worth.

So just remember with these two quotes, stop being so hard on yourself. You are still growing, it’s okay to make mistakes and it’s okay to mess up. You live and you learn. You’ll fly. But you don’t need to be so hard on yourself. And putting yourself down is a way that you are being hard on yourself. So what if you “aren’t as pretty as her” or you aren’t as “smart” as her/him or whatever you are being so hard on yourself for.

You are you and that is good enough. 


Day 2: Get Dressed up!

Get Dressed up or not. That’s okay too. I know for a fact that I love getting dressed up but it can be a hassle. Whatever is comfortable for you! Whatever makes you love yourself more. If you want to look pretty or dress up, curl/straight or style your hair. Do it! You deserve to feel pretty. You deserve to have moments (if it’s not all the time) where you look at yourself in the mirror and say wow! and smile. You have to start somewhere, whether it’s your favorite outfit, your favorite dress, whatever.

And you don’t have to dress up to feel beautiful either! You can be comfy and cute, whenever you want. You want to be a potato, be a potato. Because who doesn’t love potato…. there are different shapes and sizes of potato (potato chips, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, french fries, etc and they are all amazing)

Day 3: Get moving!

I know that sometimes you make these plans that you’ve been putting off for a while (i.e. going to the gym), we all do it. I’ve been putting off so much that I need to do because it’s a bit hard and I’m lazy. But Push yourself to do it. I’m trying to get what I need to get done. Making a mental health club on campus, going to the gym once a week, get my driver’s licence. The time is now, and once you get moving… you’ll be thankful that you got up and are completing your quest (for you non-gamers out there, quest are a search or pursuit made in order to find or obtain something)

Get up, put on some pants (I know, it’s a struggle sometimes) and get moving! Because you can do anything you put your heart and mind to. Don’t let anyone stop you, especially yourself.

Keep it dorky,
With Lots of Love,

Posted in Life, Mental Health Awareness, Tips/Advice

A College Student with Depression?

For those of you who visit my blog a lot (thank you for all your love and support, you amazing human, you!) know I have depression and I can get anxiety symptoms as well…

And for those of you who are new to my blog (welcome! I hope you love it and it helps you! Thank you for visiting me!), well… I’m Jade and I have depression.

If you notice that I said I have depression and not I’m a depressed person. We should really stop identifying ourselves as our mental illness, my child development teacher at Penn State (who is amazing, I love her!) even once said in class, “you don’t see people walking around saying, ‘I’m cancer or I’m high blood pressure.’ so why do we do it with mental illnesses?”

And it’s a good point, but I’m not here to lecture you about that (but if you want me to, I can. I can make a powerpoint and everything for you! 😛 ). So I don’t classify myself (or anyone with a mental illnesses) as my depression. But I’m open about it and I talk about it.

Now, according to statistics about every 1 in 4 people has a mental illness. And “18-24 year old age group shows the lowest rate of help-seeking.” (Active Minds)

Now if you find yourself being that 1 in 4 people that has a mental illness, don’t feel bad or lonely… because 1 in 4 people has a mental illness. I know it feels like at times that you’re the only one out there that has a mental illness, I promise you.. you aren’t alone. (And you are very loved and wanted. Help is a phone call or text away).


College is a special time of life, one of my most favorite times that I’ve lived so far (it’s so much better than in middle and high school) but college can be SO SO SO stressful. Such as freshman year and/or transferring. More stressful if you go to a new college and know no one. Which I had to do twice. And it sucks…

Tip #1: Transiting to the college life and being in a new environment with people who you don’t know is hard. Plus college course loads can be difficult and joining clubs can add on to the stress as well. It’s like all of these stressful (but fun!) events happening all at once. But my advice as a junior student, take it easy your first year (at the college). You have 3 years to join clubs, take this time to meet people and focus on your school work!

Tip #2: Get ahead of homework, assignments and reading! It might be nerdy but I try to get ahead of reading, homework and assignments (but not too far but work on big projects a little bit, here and there) just so all the big assignments and exams doesn’t hit me all at once.

And plus, having depression can really kick my butt during the semester. Sometimes it is hard for me to get up in the morning and go to class. Sometimes the stress that I have gets way too overwhelming for me and I just shut down. It happens, and it’s normal.

Tip #3: Go to counseling on campus! Most colleges has free counseling services, use it! You pay for it! Even if it’s something small, use it! It’s better than not going to counseling at all.

Tip #3: Talk privately with your professor and be honest about your mental illness! I know this can be very uncomfortable but if it’s a class that counts attendance and you know that sometimes you cant get out of bed because of your mental illness or you are going through an episode. It’s nice for your professor to know about it, they might be more understanding then you think and give you further tips and advice.  But, not all professors are like that (because lack of information about mental illness and stigma), however, don’t judge all professors on one, two or a handful of them not understanding. I usually email my professors or tell them in person about it and tell them that the reason why I’m telling them is because, it could effect my academic life and I just wanted to give them a heads up. And most of my professors were super understanding about it.

Tip #4: Write positive messages and quotes on sticky notes and put it on your wall, mirror, notebook and/or text book! This is just a cute little way to remind yourself how amazing you are and motivate you to keep going. Because we all need motivation and encouragement!

Tip #5:  Write your academic goals for the semester/year. This can be helpful so you can visually see your goals written down, its even more helpful when you write them steps to get to that goal and check mark when you complete a step! It’s not always about the destination but sometimes the journey that takes you there. And it’s okay to celebrate small steps towards your goals (it’s called positive reinforcement!)

Tip #6: Make a mental health toolkit or box. I have a little crate under my bed in my dorm room that I keep my mental health toolkit. I have small little stuffed animals, color books, stress-balls, play-doh and magic sand, bubbles, bubble-wrap, books, and positive note cards in it. I also have snacks in the same crate (because I know sweets). Make your own kit and put whatever calms you down in it! Music, pillows, blankets, pictures of good memories, play-doh, stickers, whatever calms you down!

I really hope this helps college students (and everyone else in the world) with dealing with academics, stress, life and mental illnesses. Just remember, you are strong and you got this! I believe in you!

As always, Keep it dorky.

With lots of love,


Posted in Life, Mental Health Awareness, Tips/Advice

The “Good” in “Goodbye

You know how people always say they’ll leave people behind in the previous year when a new year comes around? I know I hear it a lot on facebook, twitter and snapchat. I never was really like that, I never liked giving up on people and leaving them behind…

In fact, I was the one that was left behind… and it doesn’t feel great.

Well this year, I got really jealous about this one guy that I was unofficially ‘talking’ to and for some reason it pushed me over the edge. I’ve talked to him for about a month and I liked him a lot, I found myself falling for him over and over again… each and every day. Well when he decided to end our “whatever”-ship (those relationships that you just don’t even know what to name them), it hurt. When I had to take the stuff that I had at his apartment, driving away from his place… hurt.. I had a lot of memories of us and of his daughter… It really hurt and I miss it. I miss them.

But seeing him with another girl, not knowing if it was friends or more (though, it’s none of my business) made this really ugly side of me come out. And I don’t like it. Also, he doesn’t care as much as he should for me. And when I decided to cut him off in general, no friends… nothing. Just classmates…. well things turned for the south.

*Keep in mind, I’m an EXTREMELY caring and loving person and you can do the most terrible thing to me…. and I’d still probably be there… well, I’d still care some what about you.

But I just started to care less. I felt nothing (side effect with having depression and taking medication… numbness), like at all. So when he was telling me how I was boring (because I cared for him) and that he’ll never want me… I truly did not care. In fact, I was glad.

I don’t need someone like that in my life, someone who doesn’t care or fight for our friendship. I don’t need someone that will only want me for a short amount of time. I deserve more than that.

Never in my 20, almost 21 years of living have I truly thought that. Not until today and I’m proud of myself. I looked up an “over you” playlist on spotify and jammed out (even terribly sang along).

And One song that I annoying snapped was quoting the Queen herself, Beyoncé’s song… “Best Thing You Never Had.” Oh, I felt that song in my heart, soul and mind.

I’ll put some of the lyrics up,

“There was a time
I thought, that you did everything right
No lies, no wrong
Boy, I must’ve been out of my mind
So, when I think of the time that I almost loved you
You showed your ass and I—I saw the real you

Thank God you blew it
I thank God I dodged the bullet
I’m so over you
So, baby, good lookin’ out

I wanted you bad
I’m so through with that
‘Cause honestly you turned out to be the best thing I never had
You turned out to be the best thing I never had
And I’m gon’ always be the best thing you never had
Oh yeah, I bet it sucks to be you right now

So sad, you’re hurt
Boo hoo, oh, did you expect me to care?
You don’t deserve my tears
I guess that’s why they ain’t there
When I think that there was a time that I almost loved you
You showed your ass and, baby, yes, I saw the real you”

“Thank God I found the good in goodbye.”

-Beyoncé (Lyrics from AZ Lyrics)

And boom, a quote I will always use. “Thank God I found the good in goodbye.”

Just remember, that it hurts to let go but sometimes, letting go is better for you. I’m hurting still losing him, but I’m still here.. living. Sometimes people are toxic and they are negative and that’s not healthy for you. You need to understand when enough is enough for you.

Picture yourself as a flower (a very pretty flower, as I might add) and imagine being watered with negativity… well that’s not going to help you grow. And it’s not your fault, the environment you are trying to grow in isn’t healthy for you. So we need to put you into a better environment, where you are watered with positivity, encouragement and love.. and trust me darling, you will grow.

But in reality, People leave…

One of my (many) favorite quotes from Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky said;

“Things change, people leave, and life doesn’t stop for anyone.”

-Stephen Chbosky

Letting go sucks, but it happens. You have to find the good in goodbye, because there’s always a reason why someone comes and leave your life. (Either a blessing or a lesson)

Keep that in the back of your head and don’t forget, to keep it dorky!

With lots of love,


Posted in Letters, Life, Mental Health Awareness, Resources, Tips/Advice

Suicide Prevention Month

I was watching the VMA’s last Sunday and I watched this artist that I’ve never heard of perform a song I didn’t know at all. I’ve heard it on the radio for like a little bit and changed the channel.

Well this artist’s performance made me cry throughout the whole thing. It was Logic’s message and performance of 1-800-273-8255 (Link is the performance).

I cried through the whole thing and about 10 minutes after and I remember texting my friend Ryan about it. He was of course concerned on why I was crying in the first place and after I explained it to him that when I was struggling with my worst parts of my depression, I never had that.

I cried because that is something I wish I had. I cried because I saw the fact that was on TV and a lot of people were watching this. I cried because this is the start of the awareness of mental health and suicide prevention. I cried because that performance and message probably helped or will help a lot of people.

I may be an extremely emotional person, in general, but this really touched me and my heart. I loved it and I’m so happy that Logic came out with that song.

Well, September is Suicide Prevention Month and World Suicide Prevention Day is coming on the 10th and I’m ready for it with my TWLOHA “Stay, Find What You Were Made For Gear” (link is provided if you want to check it out). I have little positive cards to leave around for the 10th and I’m excited.

But this is making me think of why I’m a huge advocate for this cause and for mental health and that’s because I live it everyday.

I thought back today and thought about the day I wanted to kill myself, the day I tried to attempt to.

Its a day that I try to forget as much as I can, but it’s hard to forget about it. I remember having no hope at all, I cried every night and every morning, I had cut marks all over my stomach. I thoughts that my family, my friends, my school , my community, everyone would be so much better off without me. Happier. And I was always about making others happy and this was something that could help others.

I struggled with that thoughts every day for a long.. long time, and that thoughts pops in my mind, every once in a while still. I still remember being so scared to do it, and all I could think about when I was getting ready to do it… was how would my parents actually react to it.

And I think that’s what actually broke me down more. It was like my mind was being tugged between life and death. I didn’t know what to believe, I really didn’t. And when I couldn’t do it, physically couldn’t do it. I left and I cried and cried. I didn’t know what to do, I didn’t know where to go, how to get help, I didn’t know who to turn to, I didn’t know what to even say or think.

Looking back to that day, I was so thankful that I didn’t do it. I would never experience meeting amazing people who changed my life. People who gave me life, challenge me, made me feel wanted, people who were there. I would never build the strength that I have no, because without that strength, all the experiences I’ve been through.. I wouldn’t be here telling you.

If I killed myself years ago, I wouldn’t be here changing my life and others. 

If I killed myself years ago, I wouldn’t be here inspiring and helping others. 

If I killed myself years ago, I would never see the day that I believe in myself as I do now. 

If I killed myself years ago, I would never see that things truly do get better.

This is me telling you, that it does get better. I know it feel like it’ll never get better. I know the feeling, I can’t feel what you feel but I know that thought. But you need to keep fighting, you need to keep being strong because you can and you deserve it. You deserve to be happy, to live and you are strong enough. I know you are. I believe in you.

If you or someone you know is suicidal or having suicidal thoughts, please contact someone. There are so many resources to have:

Suicide HotLine: 1-800-273-8255

Crisis Textline: Text HOME to 741741

Suicide Crisis Chat:

And if someone is in immediate danger, dial 911.

You matter. You are worthy. You are important. You are loved. Please Stay Alive.

With lots of love,



Posted in Life, Mental Health Awareness, Tips/Advice

Why am I not her?

So a huge problem that I had in the past was comparing myself to other women. I did it all throughout high school and as much as I hate to admit it, I still do it today. Subconsciously.

I always catch myself thinking how much I wish I could look like this girl because she’s SO pretty and guys always go for her. I think that’s where my weak point hits, when I think that I’m not as attractive to guys as much as I truly am.

Guys are attracted to me, they just aren’t as open as it. They look when I walk by and I’m sure someone has feelings or thinks I’m the most beautiful women, he’s ever seen. But it’s just the fact that they aren’t chasing me or they aren’t verbal about it is what makes me think that maybe I’m not as pretty or as attractive.

Something that I use to let bother me was how many likes I got on social media…

Good ol’ social media. Creating insecurity problems since it was created.

I would always see other girls get a ton of more likes on their pictures or selfies then I ever would and I would be left thinking… “why?” and questioning myself and my appearance.

“Why is she better than me?”  “Am I not attractive enough?” “What does she have that I don’t have?” 

But I feel like that’s just social media and society trying to play with your emotions and your confidence and man, do they love playing that game.

Society will tell you to look a certain way, like a “super model” or a celebrity. You have to look this way or dress this way to be attractive…

Well, that’s not true. Whether you know it or not, someone is going to find you attractive. But not everyone will and that’s okay. If you have to have the mindset that every guy or every girl HAS to be physically attracted to you, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment. My tip for you is to be attracted to yourself, because that’s the only opinion that actually matters to you.* And then if someone doesn’t find you attractive, oh well, you’ll find someone who is worth your time.

*Now, there is a difference between loving yourself and finding yourself attractive and being cocky. Confidence is beauty and strong, Cockiness/ being conceited is not beauty or strong, it’s just rude and annoying.

Social media wasn’t created to make you feel pretty crappy about yourself but there is a correlation linking the amount of usage and self esteem issues…

 “The second study examined the impact of temporary exposure to social networking sites on state self-esteem. The results show that participants experienced lower state self-esteem and poorer self-evaluations after exposure to a person with a high activity social network. Participants also had poorer self-evaluations after exposure to an upward healthy comparison target  (someone who presented themselves as more healthy, young, and vibrant). Generally speaking, viewing social media profiles with positive content (upward comparison on health, fitness, active social network) resulted in poorer state self-esteem and more negative self-evaluations. ”

New York Behavioral Health

As a society, we are so use to basing our worth on numeral numbers, such as, weight, height, GPA and the amount of likes. But can we actually count our self-worth in numeral numbers?

No! No, we can’t, nor should we. How can you weigh the beauty of a heart or a soul? No, you can’t. So it’s time to stop trying to put our self worth in numbers or in things that can change. And start realizing the self worth in ourselves for who we are, not all on what we look like. And that will automatically boost your self confidence and help you find the beauty in yourself.

Also, as hard as it may be.. we (or you) need to stop comparing ourselves to other women. And honesty, it’s not just women who do it. Men does it too. They might not think they have enough muscles or that they aren’t that attractive because they don’t look the same and they don’t have abs, etc.

Well, this needs to stop. Personally, I’ve been trying to not compare myself to other people (especially, friends) who get more likes than me on facebook or IG. Likes on these posts (just like weight and height) are just a number, they only have a numerical number to it and that’s it. It doesn’t measure your self worth. 


*Side note: Can we all just appreciate chibird for all the amazing and cute drawing they do. Like THANK YOU SO MUCH♥♥♥

I really hope this post helps you realize that you are beautiful for who you are, flaw and all. Physically, mentally, emotionally and spirituality.

As I was doing some research, I came across the National Association for Self Esteem (and as always, I got super excited) and if it’s an amazing tool to help boost (and learn) your self esteem! So please, check it out! Send it to a friend! Because it’s pretty awesome. Man, I LOVE mental health resources!

With Lots of Love,



*PS, I have an amazing friend who did a blog post about social media and our mental health. If you liked this post, you’ll love hers! Please, please check it out!


Posted in Life, Mental Health Awareness, Tips/Advice


Sometimes you have to forget how you feel and remember what you deserve.

When you go through life, there will be people who will treat you poor or will bring you so much negativity in your life, and you’ll have to realize that you truly don’t need someone who will do that to you. It’s emotionally unhealthy to be surrounded by a negative force constant because it will weaken your emotional being.

**FYI, when I say negative force, I do not mean someone with depression, anxiety, or any other person who has a mental illness. Emotions and mental illnesses are not contagious! Someone who will be a negative force is someone who constantly puts you down or makes you feel bad about yourself, make you question your worth often, etc.

And sometimes, it’s so hard to walk away from those people, especially when you have an emotional bond or connection to them. But this needs to be done. And this needs to be done for yourself because you truly deserve SO MUCH more. No one deserves to be treated poorly physically, mentally, emotionally, etc.

Have you ever heard of the term, Psychological Abuse?

To sum it up, Psychological Abuse is a type of abuse that is commonly overlook (because as always physical is more important than psychological). Psychological abuse is repeating mistreatment of someone in emotional and mental manner. This includes, making them question their self-worth, confidence and overall mental state.

Psychological abuse can affect your inner thoughts and feelings as well as exert control over your life. You may feel uncertain of the world around you and unsafe in your own home. Psychological abuse can destroy intimate relationships, friendships and even your own relationship with yourself.

-Healthy Place

I know it can be hard to have people who is a constant negative force or is psychologically abusive. I’ve been in a friendship who just dragged me down emotionally with their negative force. It wasn’t healthy at all. And I’ve also been in a couple psychologically abusive relationships before.

 It took me a while before I realize that I didnt need that in my life and I also realize a bit too late. It wasn’t until after I go out of that relationship/friendship to realize how toxic it was. 

And looking back, I wish that I never stayed as long as I did or that I didnt try so hard in the relationship. Or that I wasn’t involved in that relationship at all. 

After I got out of those toxic relationships  (whether it wwas by choice or not), my life got easier and starting to get a little happier.
You do not need people who are negative or abusive (even if on the line of being abusive) in your life. 
Last year, I had a friend who created constant drama with me and so many other people. She’d make her way into fights and problems and make it worst. She’d say it was my fault for all the drama, and it wasn’t. I would do absolutely nothing to her and she’d start drama with. By the end of the year, I just stop trying with her. And I couldn’t believe how much was lifted from my shoulders. It was literally like the sun came shining out. I was a lot more better and happier without that strong force of negativity. 

Once I had this relationship where, it started off really great but then it got so much worst. When we would break up, he’d tell me how worthless I was, how no one cared about me, how ugly I was, etc. It was terrible. I was already heartbroken and then on top of that.. I had all this really mean and abusive stuff said to me.


When he wanted me back. He’d tell me how beautiful I was, how much he “loves” me, how important I was. And boom, I just fell back in his arms. 

I was young and naïve, I didnt know that there was much better in the world. And I didn’t know at the time was real love was like. (I was a freshman in high school and this was my first relationship). 

**If someone truly loves you, they would NEVER say anything that will make you question yout self worth. They will never say or do anything that will purposely hurt you. And they definitely will not say something to you so negative and blame you for the reason why said it. 

If you have any questions if its psychological abuse, please feel free to contact me. Ask me any questions or tips, anything. 

(Find me on social media, or check out the “contact me” tab!) 

Keep it dorky. 

With Lots of Love,


Posted in Life, Mental Health Awareness, Resources, Tips/Advice

The New Plan

What does Robin Williams, Marilyn Monroe, Amy Winehouse and Chester Bennington have in common?

Sadly, they’re all celebrities that has committed suicide  (or has their death rule as a possible suicide).

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Suicide Stats

  • Suicide is the 10th leading cause of the death in the US
  • Men die by suicide 2.5x more often than woman
  • On average, there are 121 suicides per day

-American Foundation of Suicide Prevention

Now, we all know that mental health isn’t treated as important as physical health. And until these death and until movies/shows like Cyberbullying and 13 Reasons Why came out, Suicide has been a hush subject. Something that no one really wants to talk about.

Well, that really needs to stop. We need to talk about it! We need a new plan! We can reduce the daily and yearly rates of suicide by being eliminating the stigma of mental illness, suicide and going to therapy. Also getting educated in Mental Health First Aid (MHFA) or at least knowing how to approach someone who is or can be suicidal can seriously save lives. 

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Just being able to listen to someone when they are feeling this way, can change so much. And just because someone is suicidal or having suicidal thoughts doesn’t mean they just need to be throw into a mental hospital, they could just need someone to talk to, someone to care. And then if they need it, it’ll be easier to suggest getting further help.

So, you may be thinking.. “I am not a mental health specialist or trained in MHFA… what can I do?”

Well, I have a great answer for you;

1. Get educated so you know when someone may be struggling or so you can identify warning signs. (Lucky for you, I have some info in this post! YAY)

2. Be loving, caring and supportive. Don’t lecture them, that’s the last thing they need. Just let them know that they are loved for, cared about and their life matters. They really just need a better support system, and there are better ways of bringing up getting the proper help with them and that comes with trust and comfort.

3. DO NOT tell them to “stop being negative,” or “Just be more happy or more positive.” Or that whatever they are upset about isn’t worth it or there are people out there who has it worst. DO NOT EVER SAY THAT. It’s just insulting to say that to someone who is thinking about hurting or killing themselves and it makes them feel worst then they already do, makes them feel that they don’t even deserve someone that truly will talk to them about what’s wrong.

* And also it DOES NOT matter how much worst someone else has it, everything we feel, everything we see and hear is OUR own perspective and OUR OWN reality and that’s serious. You don’t know or can never know how badly someone is hurt because you ARE NOT them, you cannot feel their emotions or hear their thoughts. Everyone struggles, yes, some people may have it worst… but that doesn’t mean you can minimize someone else’s pain.

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I know most of the things I’ve been saying in this post is get educated!

⇒Let’s say it one more time for the people in the back… GET EDUCATED! ⇐

My main philosophy for mental health education is ECCS: Education, Communication, Caring and Supporting

4 main things you can do need to do in talking to someone with a mental illness or talking to someone who is or can be suicidal. ECCS is very important in a one to one bases for making sure that person who is or can be suicidal gets better.

Now if this person IS suicidal and is trying to attempt or has a plan, follow MHFA’s AGLEE (5 step plan)

AGLEE (5 Step Plan) 

A ssess for risk of suicide or harm
L isten nonjudgmentally
G ive reassurance and information
E ncourage appropriate professional help
E ncourage self-help and other support strategies

Mental Health First Aid 

⇑(More In dept detail link)⇑

Getting Educated on Warning Signs

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline : 1-800-273-8255

Crisis Text line: Text HOME to 741741 (USA)

Below are suicide prevention, warning signs and ways to approach situations that may lead to suicide and are provided by the National Alliance of Mental Illness and American Foundation of Suicide Prevention (I take no credit in any of the information below or any information in the blockquotes; links are all provided):

Know The Warning Signs

  • Threats or comments about killing themselves, also known as suicidal ideation, can begin with seemingly harmless thoughts like “I wish I wasn’t here” but can become more overt and dangerous
  • Increased alcohol and drug use
  • Aggressive behavior
  • Social withdrawal from friends, family and the community
  • Dramatic mood swings
  • Talking, writing or thinking about death
  • Impulsive or reckless behavior

-National Alliance of Mental Illness


Warning Signs


If a person talks about:

  • Being a burden to others
  • Feeling trapped
  • Experiencing unbearable pain
  • Having no reason to live
  • Killing themselves


Specific things to look out for include:

  • Increased use of alcohol or drugs
  • Looking for a way to kill themselves, such as searching online for materials or means
  • Acting recklessly
  • Withdrawing from activities
  • Isolating from family and friends
  • Sleeping too much or too little
  • Visiting or calling people to say goodbye
  • Giving away prized possessions
  • Aggression


People who are considering suicide often display one or more of the following moods:

  • Depression
  • Loss of interest
  • Rage
  • Irritability
  • Humiliation
  • Anxiety

-American Foundation for Suicide Prevention


Approaching the Situation 

  • Remove means such as guns, knives or stockpiled pills
  • Calmly ask simple and direct questions, such as “Can I help you call your psychiatrist?” rather than, “Would you rather I call your psychiatrist, your therapist or your case manager?”
  • Talk openly and honestly about suicide. Don’t be afraid to ask questions such as “Are you having thoughts of suicide?” or “Do you have a plan for how you would kill yourself?”
  • If there are multiple people, have one person speak at a time
  • Ask what you can do to help
  • Don’t argue, threaten or raise your voice
  • Don’t debate whether suicide is right or wrong
  • If your loved one asks for something, provide it, as long as the request is safe and reasonable
  • If you are nervous, try not to fidget or pace
  • If your loved one is having hallucinations or delusions, be gentle and sympathetic, but do not get in an argument about whether the delusions or hallucinations are real

If you are concerned about suicide and don’t know what to do, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255

-National Alliance on Mental Illness


Together, we can all make a difference.. even if it’s difference in one life… it matters. Mental Health education needs to start and we need to seriously address suicide prevention plans!

Also as a reminder.. You matter so much. Please remember that. If you or anyone you know is suicidal, please please get help. I can’t stress how much you matter.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline : 1-800-273-8255

Crisis Text line: Text HOME to 741741 (USA)

You are amazing, you are loved, you are important,

With lots of love,



Posted in Life, Tips/Advice, Uncategorized

Smile On!

So as you all know, I made a Sarahah so that all my followers/friends/lovely souls can leave me a constructive message (or a positive message). And I wanted this so I can get anonymous feedback (good or bad) about my blog or how I am doing on my social media sites.  Well, I haven’t got that many. Today I got my Third One and this is what it said:



And as you can see my reply to this sarahah message. And this sarahah post inspired me to write this post today, I have a shorten version on my Instagram Post 




I use to hate my smile so much because it wasn’t straight. But after a while, and after some people kept complimenting on my smile. I started to love it. And now I do, I think its beautiful. Because when I smile, it makes other smile. And I know now that my smile is genuine.
I turned my insecurity into a beloved feature of myself

I just love how people like to pick at other’s insecurities. I don’t get how people are okay with picking at other’s insecurities! But as they say, people put others down to pick them back up. And we need to change that! How about we empower and compliment people, because that truly lifts you up and it makes you feel amazing. I do this all the time and it makes me feel wonderful.

So if you’re someone who likes to pick on people’s insecurities to make yourself feel better, don’t.. because it’s only going to make you feel worse in the end. No one likes a bully and no one likes someone who is mean. Try asking for help or complimenting others. There’s nothing wrong with having insecurities about yourself, it’s normal (sadly) and it’s something only you can fix but others can guide you. But putting others down isn’t a way to fix it.

In that case scenario that someone puts you down and/or picks at your own insecurity.. don’t let them bring you down. The biggest bully is the one in your head. And once you stand up to that one, you’ll be on top of the world and things that others say to or about you / your insecurities won’t matter to you. And you’ll reply like I did, and you’ll start to love your insecurities like I do (with some of them). And not everyone always has it together, I have some insecurities I’m still fighting with and it takes time. So take as much as time as you can.

No one is worth making you cry over or making you feel insecure or to hate your body.
Love your insecurities, just like I love my smile.


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Challenge: I challenge you to compliment anyone and everyone you see today. It can be someone on facebook, IG, twitter, anything. Help someone love themselves, like those people helped me loved my smile.

Keep it smiling, keep loving yourself and as always, keep it dorky.
With lots of love,