Posted in Life, Mental Health Awareness, Tips/Advice

Social Media and Mental Health

Something we all use and love now a days (well, its love and hate)… social media.

If you’re like me and always on it… it can be very bad… but it can be very good.

I saw this quote about social media and it’s becoming something I want to share to everyone, especially the newer generations..

social media

Side note: Isn’t this quote amazing, Dave Willis you rock for this quote… if he is the one who even made the quote but whoever made this quote. It’s amazing and I’m using it as a life quote. One day in my little, medium size or big office as a high school guidance counselor, I will have this quote (along with many others) on the wall. Maybe little info guides about social media and mental health!

Anyways, social media can be very helpful. It can connect us to a new type of “social support” but of course, it’s not a physical social support, which is proven better for our health. Physical social support but realistically, not everyone always has access to that. So social media can really help in that sense. Apps like Talklife or vent can be very helpful. Other mental health social media apps where they provide a community is super helpful to people. Myself included!

Use your social media to make an impact in the world. I know I have an Instagram, Twitter, tumblr and FB for Lots of Love by Jade but I don’t always use them because I’m too busy with college and other things… and honestly, on my own social media for my personal self. And that isn’t always good. I do still post encouraging pictures and quotes and tell others how beautiful they are and compliment people so I’m not completely a lost cause.

I did a presentation with 2 friends on social media and positive psychology and it was very helpful. I actually learn that breaking up bad social media habits just by complimenting and positively commenting  on other’s posts on FB or IG or tweeting on twitter. Breaking up that endless scrolling that we are all use to.

There is a correlation between depression and social media use, it’s not proved. Correlation does not mean causation (for those who don’t speak psychology, correlation means a relations between two variables). But we are seeing more cases of depression and psychologists do believe that social media does play a role in it (especially with self concept)

I also learned that Instagram is the most risk factor app when it comes to mental health (and youtube being the best) and there is studies done about it.


♦I’ll post the link here. Check it out and read it. I honestly do recommend it because it is super interesting. 


But with Instagram, most people will start to compare their selves to other’s, I know I do it too. I’m just randomally going through IG and I see this gorgeous girl with a perfect body and yeah, I feel pretty down because I wish I was that pretty or my body was a little better than I am.  And that’s really unhealthy and really bad for you.

It decreases your self esteem and that’s not what we want. We want you to love you for all of you. Because you deserve that.

Something to keep in mind, they don’t always look like that and that picture was probably one of 30 that she chose from. And it probably took at least 20-30 minutes to capture the perfect picture.

“Never compare your offstage to everyone’s front stage.” 

I love that quote. So much. And I use it to remind myself that I’m beautiful too. And that may be hard for me to do some days.

People put their best photos, and their best moments of their life on social media, that’s the point of it to make people aware of what they do.

It’s a social comparison and a social competition, which you DON’T have to be a part of.  

But of course, like I said before… not all social media is bad. Social media has a good side too. I already touch on the social support, but studies shown that looking at your own Facebook profile can increase your self esteem.
And things like the “This Day” from Facebook where they show you what you posted on this day for however long you had Facebook can really make you happier because it shows you memories that you can hold on to and smile about.

And most importantly, make the best out of your social media.

Post more positivity, encouragement and inspiration on your social media. Compliment people on your feed, it might be weird at first but you might make a new friend. Show your amazing personality and heart through social media and we can make more positive than negatives when it comes to social media.

Let’s change that fact that social media can decrease your self esteem to increase it. And change starts with you. (And me)

Keep it positive, keep it inspiration, keep loving and as always, Keep it dorky.

With Lots of Love,



Posted in 28 Days of Loving Yourself, Life, Mental Health Awareness, Tips/Advice

28 Days of Loving Yourself: Days 4 and 5

Day 4: Trust Yourself

Trusting yourself is very important and it goes along the lines of day 1 of nothing being so hard on yourself or stop putting yourself down. You are important and you are just as important as anyone else in your life! You need to trust yourself to make decision,  and of it’s the wrong one or a mistakes.. it’s okay don’t be so hard on yourselves. Everyone makes mistakes (and everyone has them days because nobody’s perfect… thank you Hannah Montana for that very catchy and encouraging song). Mistakes are a pathway to where we are going in life so be thankful for them but also learn from them. I love talking to others about my past guy mistakes (I call it story time with Jade) because I was so so stupid trusting certain guys in my life and that was my mistake, but I want to say I learned from it but that’s still in the air. But the reason why I tell others about my mistakes is to hope they don’t make the same mistakes as I did.

Your mistakes may hurt you and make you angry, but battle scars show us where we came from and how much we grew and that’s so important. So trust yourself because no one is better at telling you how to live your life and get the best out of YOUR experiences than yourself.

Day 5: Eat Your favorite Dessert

Ooh, I do this tip all the time, I love dessert, I love candy, I love sweets! But Eat your favorite dessert because you need to treat yourself. I know that some people are on a diet but it’s okay to eat your favorite dessert once in a while. Desserts and sugars won’t kill you (too much, of course but too much of anything is bad) . Plus a way to keep a healthy diet is by getting ALL the food categories of the pyramid and sugar and sweets is at the tippy top!

So eat that cookie, eat that slice of cheesecake or cake or pie, or if you like fruits as your sweet, eat that too. I love fruits but eat what you love. Because that makes you happy.

Keep it Dorky,

With lots of love,


Posted in Life, Mental Health Awareness, Tips/Advice

A College Student with Depression?

For those of you who visit my blog a lot (thank you for all your love and support, you amazing human, you!) know I have depression and I can get anxiety symptoms as well…

And for those of you who are new to my blog (welcome! I hope you love it and it helps you! Thank you for visiting me!), well… I’m Jade and I have depression.

If you notice that I said I have depression and not I’m a depressed person. We should really stop identifying ourselves as our mental illness, my child development teacher at Penn State (who is amazing, I love her!) even once said in class, “you don’t see people walking around saying, ‘I’m cancer or I’m high blood pressure.’ so why do we do it with mental illnesses?”

And it’s a good point, but I’m not here to lecture you about that (but if you want me to, I can. I can make a powerpoint and everything for you! 😛 ). So I don’t classify myself (or anyone with a mental illnesses) as my depression. But I’m open about it and I talk about it.

Now, according to statistics about every 1 in 4 people has a mental illness. And “18-24 year old age group shows the lowest rate of help-seeking.” (Active Minds)

Now if you find yourself being that 1 in 4 people that has a mental illness, don’t feel bad or lonely… because 1 in 4 people has a mental illness. I know it feels like at times that you’re the only one out there that has a mental illness, I promise you.. you aren’t alone. (And you are very loved and wanted. Help is a phone call or text away).


College is a special time of life, one of my most favorite times that I’ve lived so far (it’s so much better than in middle and high school) but college can be SO SO SO stressful. Such as freshman year and/or transferring. More stressful if you go to a new college and know no one. Which I had to do twice. And it sucks…

Tip #1: Transiting to the college life and being in a new environment with people who you don’t know is hard. Plus college course loads can be difficult and joining clubs can add on to the stress as well. It’s like all of these stressful (but fun!) events happening all at once. But my advice as a junior student, take it easy your first year (at the college). You have 3 years to join clubs, take this time to meet people and focus on your school work!

Tip #2: Get ahead of homework, assignments and reading! It might be nerdy but I try to get ahead of reading, homework and assignments (but not too far but work on big projects a little bit, here and there) just so all the big assignments and exams doesn’t hit me all at once.

And plus, having depression can really kick my butt during the semester. Sometimes it is hard for me to get up in the morning and go to class. Sometimes the stress that I have gets way too overwhelming for me and I just shut down. It happens, and it’s normal.

Tip #3: Go to counseling on campus! Most colleges has free counseling services, use it! You pay for it! Even if it’s something small, use it! It’s better than not going to counseling at all.

Tip #3: Talk privately with your professor and be honest about your mental illness! I know this can be very uncomfortable but if it’s a class that counts attendance and you know that sometimes you cant get out of bed because of your mental illness or you are going through an episode. It’s nice for your professor to know about it, they might be more understanding then you think and give you further tips and advice.  But, not all professors are like that (because lack of information about mental illness and stigma), however, don’t judge all professors on one, two or a handful of them not understanding. I usually email my professors or tell them in person about it and tell them that the reason why I’m telling them is because, it could effect my academic life and I just wanted to give them a heads up. And most of my professors were super understanding about it.

Tip #4: Write positive messages and quotes on sticky notes and put it on your wall, mirror, notebook and/or text book! This is just a cute little way to remind yourself how amazing you are and motivate you to keep going. Because we all need motivation and encouragement!

Tip #5:  Write your academic goals for the semester/year. This can be helpful so you can visually see your goals written down, its even more helpful when you write them steps to get to that goal and check mark when you complete a step! It’s not always about the destination but sometimes the journey that takes you there. And it’s okay to celebrate small steps towards your goals (it’s called positive reinforcement!)

Tip #6: Make a mental health toolkit or box. I have a little crate under my bed in my dorm room that I keep my mental health toolkit. I have small little stuffed animals, color books, stress-balls, play-doh and magic sand, bubbles, bubble-wrap, books, and positive note cards in it. I also have snacks in the same crate (because I know sweets). Make your own kit and put whatever calms you down in it! Music, pillows, blankets, pictures of good memories, play-doh, stickers, whatever calms you down!

I really hope this helps college students (and everyone else in the world) with dealing with academics, stress, life and mental illnesses. Just remember, you are strong and you got this! I believe in you!

As always, Keep it dorky.

With lots of love,


Posted in Life, Mental Health Awareness, Tips/Advice

The “Good” in “Goodbye

You know how people always say they’ll leave people behind in the previous year when a new year comes around? I know I hear it a lot on facebook, twitter and snapchat. I never was really like that, I never liked giving up on people and leaving them behind…

In fact, I was the one that was left behind… and it doesn’t feel great.

Well this year, I got really jealous about this one guy that I was unofficially ‘talking’ to and for some reason it pushed me over the edge. I’ve talked to him for about a month and I liked him a lot, I found myself falling for him over and over again… each and every day. Well when he decided to end our “whatever”-ship (those relationships that you just don’t even know what to name them), it hurt. When I had to take the stuff that I had at his apartment, driving away from his place… hurt.. I had a lot of memories of us and of his daughter… It really hurt and I miss it. I miss them.

But seeing him with another girl, not knowing if it was friends or more (though, it’s none of my business) made this really ugly side of me come out. And I don’t like it. Also, he doesn’t care as much as he should for me. And when I decided to cut him off in general, no friends… nothing. Just classmates…. well things turned for the south.

*Keep in mind, I’m an EXTREMELY caring and loving person and you can do the most terrible thing to me…. and I’d still probably be there… well, I’d still care some what about you.

But I just started to care less. I felt nothing (side effect with having depression and taking medication… numbness), like at all. So when he was telling me how I was boring (because I cared for him) and that he’ll never want me… I truly did not care. In fact, I was glad.

I don’t need someone like that in my life, someone who doesn’t care or fight for our friendship. I don’t need someone that will only want me for a short amount of time. I deserve more than that.

Never in my 20, almost 21 years of living have I truly thought that. Not until today and I’m proud of myself. I looked up an “over you” playlist on spotify and jammed out (even terribly sang along).

And One song that I annoying snapped was quoting the Queen herself, Beyoncé’s song… “Best Thing You Never Had.” Oh, I felt that song in my heart, soul and mind.

I’ll put some of the lyrics up,

“There was a time
I thought, that you did everything right
No lies, no wrong
Boy, I must’ve been out of my mind
So, when I think of the time that I almost loved you
You showed your ass and I—I saw the real you

Thank God you blew it
I thank God I dodged the bullet
I’m so over you
So, baby, good lookin’ out

I wanted you bad
I’m so through with that
‘Cause honestly you turned out to be the best thing I never had
You turned out to be the best thing I never had
And I’m gon’ always be the best thing you never had
Oh yeah, I bet it sucks to be you right now

So sad, you’re hurt
Boo hoo, oh, did you expect me to care?
You don’t deserve my tears
I guess that’s why they ain’t there
When I think that there was a time that I almost loved you
You showed your ass and, baby, yes, I saw the real you”

“Thank God I found the good in goodbye.”

-Beyoncé (Lyrics from AZ Lyrics)

And boom, a quote I will always use. “Thank God I found the good in goodbye.”

Just remember, that it hurts to let go but sometimes, letting go is better for you. I’m hurting still losing him, but I’m still here.. living. Sometimes people are toxic and they are negative and that’s not healthy for you. You need to understand when enough is enough for you.

Picture yourself as a flower (a very pretty flower, as I might add) and imagine being watered with negativity… well that’s not going to help you grow. And it’s not your fault, the environment you are trying to grow in isn’t healthy for you. So we need to put you into a better environment, where you are watered with positivity, encouragement and love.. and trust me darling, you will grow.

But in reality, People leave…

One of my (many) favorite quotes from Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky said;

“Things change, people leave, and life doesn’t stop for anyone.”

-Stephen Chbosky

Letting go sucks, but it happens. You have to find the good in goodbye, because there’s always a reason why someone comes and leave your life. (Either a blessing or a lesson)

Keep that in the back of your head and don’t forget, to keep it dorky!

With lots of love,


Posted in Letters, Life, Mental Health Awareness, Resources, Tips/Advice

Suicide Prevention Month

I was watching the VMA’s last Sunday and I watched this artist that I’ve never heard of perform a song I didn’t know at all. I’ve heard it on the radio for like a little bit and changed the channel.

Well this artist’s performance made me cry throughout the whole thing. It was Logic’s message and performance of 1-800-273-8255 (Link is the performance).

I cried through the whole thing and about 10 minutes after and I remember texting my friend Ryan about it. He was of course concerned on why I was crying in the first place and after I explained it to him that when I was struggling with my worst parts of my depression, I never had that.

I cried because that is something I wish I had. I cried because I saw the fact that was on TV and a lot of people were watching this. I cried because this is the start of the awareness of mental health and suicide prevention. I cried because that performance and message probably helped or will help a lot of people.

I may be an extremely emotional person, in general, but this really touched me and my heart. I loved it and I’m so happy that Logic came out with that song.

Well, September is Suicide Prevention Month and World Suicide Prevention Day is coming on the 10th and I’m ready for it with my TWLOHA “Stay, Find What You Were Made For Gear” (link is provided if you want to check it out). I have little positive cards to leave around for the 10th and I’m excited.

But this is making me think of why I’m a huge advocate for this cause and for mental health and that’s because I live it everyday.

I thought back today and thought about the day I wanted to kill myself, the day I tried to attempt to.

Its a day that I try to forget as much as I can, but it’s hard to forget about it. I remember having no hope at all, I cried every night and every morning, I had cut marks all over my stomach. I thoughts that my family, my friends, my school , my community, everyone would be so much better off without me. Happier. And I was always about making others happy and this was something that could help others.

I struggled with that thoughts every day for a long.. long time, and that thoughts pops in my mind, every once in a while still. I still remember being so scared to do it, and all I could think about when I was getting ready to do it… was how would my parents actually react to it.

And I think that’s what actually broke me down more. It was like my mind was being tugged between life and death. I didn’t know what to believe, I really didn’t. And when I couldn’t do it, physically couldn’t do it. I left and I cried and cried. I didn’t know what to do, I didn’t know where to go, how to get help, I didn’t know who to turn to, I didn’t know what to even say or think.

Looking back to that day, I was so thankful that I didn’t do it. I would never experience meeting amazing people who changed my life. People who gave me life, challenge me, made me feel wanted, people who were there. I would never build the strength that I have no, because without that strength, all the experiences I’ve been through.. I wouldn’t be here telling you.

If I killed myself years ago, I wouldn’t be here changing my life and others. 

If I killed myself years ago, I wouldn’t be here inspiring and helping others. 

If I killed myself years ago, I would never see the day that I believe in myself as I do now. 

If I killed myself years ago, I would never see that things truly do get better.

This is me telling you, that it does get better. I know it feel like it’ll never get better. I know the feeling, I can’t feel what you feel but I know that thought. But you need to keep fighting, you need to keep being strong because you can and you deserve it. You deserve to be happy, to live and you are strong enough. I know you are. I believe in you.

If you or someone you know is suicidal or having suicidal thoughts, please contact someone. There are so many resources to have:

Suicide HotLine: 1-800-273-8255

Crisis Textline: Text HOME to 741741

Suicide Crisis Chat:

And if someone is in immediate danger, dial 911.

You matter. You are worthy. You are important. You are loved. Please Stay Alive.

With lots of love,



Posted in Life, Mental Health Awareness, Tips/Advice

Why am I not her?

So a huge problem that I had in the past was comparing myself to other women. I did it all throughout high school and as much as I hate to admit it, I still do it today. Subconsciously.

I always catch myself thinking how much I wish I could look like this girl because she’s SO pretty and guys always go for her. I think that’s where my weak point hits, when I think that I’m not as attractive to guys as much as I truly am.

Guys are attracted to me, they just aren’t as open as it. They look when I walk by and I’m sure someone has feelings or thinks I’m the most beautiful women, he’s ever seen. But it’s just the fact that they aren’t chasing me or they aren’t verbal about it is what makes me think that maybe I’m not as pretty or as attractive.

Something that I use to let bother me was how many likes I got on social media…

Good ol’ social media. Creating insecurity problems since it was created.

I would always see other girls get a ton of more likes on their pictures or selfies then I ever would and I would be left thinking… “why?” and questioning myself and my appearance.

“Why is she better than me?”  “Am I not attractive enough?” “What does she have that I don’t have?” 

But I feel like that’s just social media and society trying to play with your emotions and your confidence and man, do they love playing that game.

Society will tell you to look a certain way, like a “super model” or a celebrity. You have to look this way or dress this way to be attractive…

Well, that’s not true. Whether you know it or not, someone is going to find you attractive. But not everyone will and that’s okay. If you have to have the mindset that every guy or every girl HAS to be physically attracted to you, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment. My tip for you is to be attracted to yourself, because that’s the only opinion that actually matters to you.* And then if someone doesn’t find you attractive, oh well, you’ll find someone who is worth your time.

*Now, there is a difference between loving yourself and finding yourself attractive and being cocky. Confidence is beauty and strong, Cockiness/ being conceited is not beauty or strong, it’s just rude and annoying.

Social media wasn’t created to make you feel pretty crappy about yourself but there is a correlation linking the amount of usage and self esteem issues…

 “The second study examined the impact of temporary exposure to social networking sites on state self-esteem. The results show that participants experienced lower state self-esteem and poorer self-evaluations after exposure to a person with a high activity social network. Participants also had poorer self-evaluations after exposure to an upward healthy comparison target  (someone who presented themselves as more healthy, young, and vibrant). Generally speaking, viewing social media profiles with positive content (upward comparison on health, fitness, active social network) resulted in poorer state self-esteem and more negative self-evaluations. ”

New York Behavioral Health

As a society, we are so use to basing our worth on numeral numbers, such as, weight, height, GPA and the amount of likes. But can we actually count our self-worth in numeral numbers?

No! No, we can’t, nor should we. How can you weigh the beauty of a heart or a soul? No, you can’t. So it’s time to stop trying to put our self worth in numbers or in things that can change. And start realizing the self worth in ourselves for who we are, not all on what we look like. And that will automatically boost your self confidence and help you find the beauty in yourself.

Also, as hard as it may be.. we (or you) need to stop comparing ourselves to other women. And honesty, it’s not just women who do it. Men does it too. They might not think they have enough muscles or that they aren’t that attractive because they don’t look the same and they don’t have abs, etc.

Well, this needs to stop. Personally, I’ve been trying to not compare myself to other people (especially, friends) who get more likes than me on facebook or IG. Likes on these posts (just like weight and height) are just a number, they only have a numerical number to it and that’s it. It doesn’t measure your self worth. 


*Side note: Can we all just appreciate chibird for all the amazing and cute drawing they do. Like THANK YOU SO MUCH♥♥♥

I really hope this post helps you realize that you are beautiful for who you are, flaw and all. Physically, mentally, emotionally and spirituality.

As I was doing some research, I came across the National Association for Self Esteem (and as always, I got super excited) and if it’s an amazing tool to help boost (and learn) your self esteem! So please, check it out! Send it to a friend! Because it’s pretty awesome. Man, I LOVE mental health resources!

With Lots of Love,



*PS, I have an amazing friend who did a blog post about social media and our mental health. If you liked this post, you’ll love hers! Please, please check it out!


Posted in Mental Health Awareness

Stomping Out Stigma

I was trying to find a way to start off this blog post and I thought what better way to start a blog post about stigma, then defining it.

Stigma (n.): 

a mark of disgrace or infamy; a stain or reproach, as on one’s reputation.


The word “stigma” is negative and it just matches with the definition, itself. So the real question is.. Why do we even have stigma?

What’s the point of a stigma, when it just brings more negativity to an already negative thing (mental illness, addiction, etc.)

I don’t get people sometimes, it’s just not fair to have this stigma around something you don’t know anything about or have never felt before. That’s called ignorance. And that’s not cool either.

So, I just want to stomp on some stigmas that I could find online from The Centre for Addiction and Mental health (CAMH)


“Just snap out of it.”

OOH, I hate this one SO SO much. This gets under my skin! One cannot snap out of a mental illness… Can anyone snap out of cancer or a broken leg? No. Well, just because a illness is inside your brain and you physically cannot see it, doesn’t mean it’s not serious or painful. Living with depression, I cannot just “snap out” of my episodes. No matter how much I want to, I can’t. I just came back from an amazing vacation with some friends and one night, I had an episode. And all my friends were worried about me and kept trying to talk to me about it and help me. But, as usual, I put a wall up. I couldn’t just snap out of that episode, I wanted to, I wanted to have a fun time with my friends. But I physically or mentally CAN NOT just snap out of it. I just had to let it pass.

If mental illnesses are easy enough to “snap away,” tons of people wouldn’t have anxiety, depression or be suicidal. Thousands wouldn’t be in mental torture or dead by suicide if mental illnesses were easy to “snap away.”

“Stop Feeling Sorry for Yourself.”

OH, my. I literally have no words. It’s not feeling sorry for yourself when you are struggling with a mental illness. AGAIN, would you EVER say to someone who has cancer, a broken leg or any other life threatening illness (YES, mental illnesses can be life threatening.. ~ 121 people die from suicide a day)?

No, no you wouldn’t. If you did, that’s really a rude thing to say. So why has society deem it wrong to say that to someone with cancer, etc but not to someone who is suffering mentally?

Physical pain heals a lot less easier and faster than mental pain. Because mental pain can and will effect every part of your life and can change it for the worst. Think about it, what is one of the MOST important parts of your body? I believe its the brain. Yes, the heart is important but the Medulla… which is in your head, controlled by the brain, is the reason why you don’t need to think about breathing or beating your heart.

I feel that when these people are feeling that others who have a mental illness that they are “feeling sorry for themselves, ” are not educated enough about mental illnesses. Because I can not come to any time through my depression episodes or anxiety attacks when I ever “felt sorry for myself.” I’ve hated myself for a long time and that’s so FAR from feeling sorry for yourself. Huge difference, hating yourself is literal torture. Because nothing will ever transfer as being good enough in your head. It’s a negative perspective which comes with the illness (AND CAN NOT BE FIXED WITH JUST BEING POSITIVE. It takes a lot of time and effort to self love then people think and then steps need to be taken to be more positive. ONE CANNOT just be positive when they hate themselves or have depression)

So, no. I’m not feeling sorry about myself… I am living through my pain.

“Don’t Worry. It’s Just a Phase” – But for some, it can last a lifetime

This takes me back to the “Mom, it’s not a phase” meme about that part in your life when you have the punk/rock/”emo”/goth stage. Well, we all go through phases in life. Sometimes, you’ll hit a really rough spot in life… well some people can get out of it, some people cannot. It’s not a phase. It’s a mental illness. Mental Illnesses are super common, more common then what people know/believe/want to be. Sorry, to break it to you, but no matter if you like it or not, 1 in 4 people have depression. It’s not a phase, yes. Some people can have depression and a few months or years later, can not have it anymore. Still doesn’t mean it’s a “phase.” Phases are for clothes, music and attitudes, not for Mental Illnesses.

“Everyone Feels Like That At Your Age.”

I took a communications class last year and I wrote a speech about the difference feeling sad and depression. If I could just send a link to a video of me giving that speech, I feel like this would help with this stigma. But I can sum it up for you guys (It was a great speech).

Sadness is a natural feeling, it’s normal to get/be sad. Depression isn’t. Depression isn’t just sad, it’s so much more. How can I best describe Depression… mhmmm. Depression feels like my demons that haunt my mind and tell me all these negative stuff has taken over my body and mind. Instead of haunting it and just making me feel crummy, I feel miserable, every single moment of the day. I feel like I physically cannot leave my bed or move. Like my demons are controlling me and holding me down. It’s not even me anymore, it’s those demons. It can feel like a storm cloud of sadness, worthlessness, numbness, etc. all over my body. Depression is really hard for me to explain, I’ve tried my best but it’s not really accurate and it’s so much more worst then I can ever explain (and I’m honestly not trying to romanticize it, either).

But, if it was Bob (generic name) and myself standing next to each other. Bob and I are both 20 years old, sitting next to each other in class. Let’s say we both for F’s on a test (hey, it was a hard test). Bob is sad he got such a low score. But he’s going to work harder and go out with his friends and forget about it. He’ll think “Hey, one bad grade isn’t that bad. I’ll just study more and bring it up.”

While myself, I cry. I think that I’m stupid and I’m worthless. I shouldn’t even continue school to be a counselor because I will just fail and I won’t be able to help anyone. That will ruin my mood all day, I’ll be upset all day. Maybe, even just lay in bed for the rest of the day. I’ll keep thinking and repeating how stupid I am, how worthless I am.

You might think it’s an extreme, but it’s my reality. It’s what I honestly think when I get a bad grade. And I’m not the only one who feels that way or similar to what I tried to describe. Remember 1 in 4. So no, Not everyone feels the way I do.

Also it’s physically impossible to ever feel anything anyone else feels because your feelings are YOUR feelings and emotions. You can’t feel what anyone feels unless you are them or in their brain. So no, not everyone feels the way you or I do.

“Seriously, Can’t you cheer the Hell up?”

No. No. No. NO. I can’t stand this. I really can’t. Ugh, why do people say this stuff. You can’t just be positive when you have anxiety, depression, an eating disorder, etc. Especially, when you’re suicidal. I don’t know how many times, I’ve heard this myself, when I was at my worst part of my depression. And this annoys me so much. I can’t just cheer up or just be positive when I’m in an episode. How about I tell you to just walk it off when you break your leg? It’s the same thing. Nothing bothers me more than someone referring that a mental illness is nothing or just telling someone to be positive or just to cheer up. It just boils me up with anger, honestly. And I wish that they could feel what I do, but I can’t wish this on anyone else ever. You CAN’T just cheer up when you have a depression. If I could just cheer up when I’m now, I wouldn’t have clinical depression, now would I?

Seriously, can’t you just get educated on this stuff before you say anything ignorant?

“It’s All in your head”

If someone said this this me, I’d replied with a “haha, it is just in my head.. that’s why it’s called a MENTAL illness.”

The thing is that no two people can feel the exactly the same… or can they..? The point is that we don’t know if two people can totally feel the exact same. Your emotions are something that only you can perceive and I believe that we can never completely feel what another person feels. We can feel similar but we will never fully understand.

So yes, my mental illness or my problems are in my head… where else would they be? If it was anything physical… this wouldn’t even be said.

I just don’t understand how people cannot understand that mental and physical pain are the same thing, the only difference is one is external based and one is internal based.

“Quit being such a Downer”

I’m just going to quote “Is it any wonder why 2 out of 4 people living with mental illness suffer in silence?”

Because these are just absolutely terrible things to say to someone who is struggling, no matter what they are struggling with… especially a mental illness. Like this is mentally and emotionally kicking someone when they are already down. This isn’t cool.  This isn’t funny. This isn’t something to be ignored.

People really do suffer with mental illness and being alone and in silence is making it 2x worst. It makes them feel like they really don’t matter, that they aren’t worth it.

So please, please, please. Get educated on mental illnesses, learn about the symptoms, talk to them.. and REALLY talk to them. Don’t use such negative phrases or thoughts because it like putting more air in a balloon full of negativity. People who have a mental illness already have so much negativity on their own and they really don’t need it externally from someone else, especially someone they love, care for and trust.

If you or someone you know is needing tips and help with trying to communicate a loved one with a mental illness, I found a great resource (which is right below⇓) that gives DOs and DON’Ts tips!

Tips on Communicating with someone with a Mental Illness

• Relax and stay calm.
• Start a conversation with the expectation that things will go smoothly.
• Minimize distractions; ask if you can turn off the TV for example.
• Listen and make eye-contact (unless this is threatening).
• Simplify. One topic at a time.
• Use “I-statements” not “you-statements”.
• Acknowledge what the other person says and how they feel, even if you don’t agree.
• Paraphrase; “If I understand you correctly, you and I…” “Is that what you’re saying?”
• Engage the person in the process by asking for opinions and suggestions.
• Watch out for contradictory messages between verbal and non-verbal messages.
• Look for common ground. Focus on observable facts; things you both saw or heard “You say you have trouble concentrating at school if you don’t take your medication?”
• Honestly sharing your own feelings can reduce defensiveness on both sides.
• Stick to present issues.
• Use humor in easy situations.
• A touch on the shoulder can be comforting to some, but anxiety-provoking to others. Just ask; for example, “Can I hug you?” or “Can I hold your hand?”.
• Acknowledge your own responsibility; don’t wait for the other person to do it first.

• Don’t start a conversation expecting a confrontation. Approaching a person with your defenses up will likely make the communication difficult.
• Don’t take it personally; remember that your loved one’s illness can affect their behavior and communication skills.
• Don’t criticize, accuse or blame.
• Don’t assume. Clarify by asking questions.
• Don’t expect the other person to “just understand it” if you cannot explain it.
• Avoid bringing up the diagnosis.
• Don’t raise your voice or attempt to intimidate or “discipline” the person.
• Don’t use general and loaded words such as “always” or “never”. Use specific words instead.
• Don’t use sarcasm and avoid humor in difficult situations
• Avoid sounding patronizing or condescending. If someone treated YOU like a child, would you take them seriously?

– Friends for Mental Health




Join me and be Pledge to be Stigma Free with NAMI at 




With Lots of Love,


Posted in Life, Mental Health Awareness, Tips/Advice


Sometimes you have to forget how you feel and remember what you deserve.

When you go through life, there will be people who will treat you poor or will bring you so much negativity in your life, and you’ll have to realize that you truly don’t need someone who will do that to you. It’s emotionally unhealthy to be surrounded by a negative force constant because it will weaken your emotional being.

**FYI, when I say negative force, I do not mean someone with depression, anxiety, or any other person who has a mental illness. Emotions and mental illnesses are not contagious! Someone who will be a negative force is someone who constantly puts you down or makes you feel bad about yourself, make you question your worth often, etc.

And sometimes, it’s so hard to walk away from those people, especially when you have an emotional bond or connection to them. But this needs to be done. And this needs to be done for yourself because you truly deserve SO MUCH more. No one deserves to be treated poorly physically, mentally, emotionally, etc.

Have you ever heard of the term, Psychological Abuse?

To sum it up, Psychological Abuse is a type of abuse that is commonly overlook (because as always physical is more important than psychological). Psychological abuse is repeating mistreatment of someone in emotional and mental manner. This includes, making them question their self-worth, confidence and overall mental state.

Psychological abuse can affect your inner thoughts and feelings as well as exert control over your life. You may feel uncertain of the world around you and unsafe in your own home. Psychological abuse can destroy intimate relationships, friendships and even your own relationship with yourself.

-Healthy Place

I know it can be hard to have people who is a constant negative force or is psychologically abusive. I’ve been in a friendship who just dragged me down emotionally with their negative force. It wasn’t healthy at all. And I’ve also been in a couple psychologically abusive relationships before.

 It took me a while before I realize that I didnt need that in my life and I also realize a bit too late. It wasn’t until after I go out of that relationship/friendship to realize how toxic it was. 

And looking back, I wish that I never stayed as long as I did or that I didnt try so hard in the relationship. Or that I wasn’t involved in that relationship at all. 

After I got out of those toxic relationships  (whether it wwas by choice or not), my life got easier and starting to get a little happier.
You do not need people who are negative or abusive (even if on the line of being abusive) in your life. 
Last year, I had a friend who created constant drama with me and so many other people. She’d make her way into fights and problems and make it worst. She’d say it was my fault for all the drama, and it wasn’t. I would do absolutely nothing to her and she’d start drama with. By the end of the year, I just stop trying with her. And I couldn’t believe how much was lifted from my shoulders. It was literally like the sun came shining out. I was a lot more better and happier without that strong force of negativity. 

Once I had this relationship where, it started off really great but then it got so much worst. When we would break up, he’d tell me how worthless I was, how no one cared about me, how ugly I was, etc. It was terrible. I was already heartbroken and then on top of that.. I had all this really mean and abusive stuff said to me.


When he wanted me back. He’d tell me how beautiful I was, how much he “loves” me, how important I was. And boom, I just fell back in his arms. 

I was young and naïve, I didnt know that there was much better in the world. And I didn’t know at the time was real love was like. (I was a freshman in high school and this was my first relationship). 

**If someone truly loves you, they would NEVER say anything that will make you question yout self worth. They will never say or do anything that will purposely hurt you. And they definitely will not say something to you so negative and blame you for the reason why said it. 

If you have any questions if its psychological abuse, please feel free to contact me. Ask me any questions or tips, anything. 

(Find me on social media, or check out the “contact me” tab!) 

Keep it dorky. 

With Lots of Love,


Posted in Life, Mental Health Awareness, Resources, Tips/Advice

The New Plan

What does Robin Williams, Marilyn Monroe, Amy Winehouse and Chester Bennington have in common?

Sadly, they’re all celebrities that has committed suicide  (or has their death rule as a possible suicide).

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Suicide Stats

  • Suicide is the 10th leading cause of the death in the US
  • Men die by suicide 2.5x more often than woman
  • On average, there are 121 suicides per day

-American Foundation of Suicide Prevention

Now, we all know that mental health isn’t treated as important as physical health. And until these death and until movies/shows like Cyberbullying and 13 Reasons Why came out, Suicide has been a hush subject. Something that no one really wants to talk about.

Well, that really needs to stop. We need to talk about it! We need a new plan! We can reduce the daily and yearly rates of suicide by being eliminating the stigma of mental illness, suicide and going to therapy. Also getting educated in Mental Health First Aid (MHFA) or at least knowing how to approach someone who is or can be suicidal can seriously save lives. 

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Just being able to listen to someone when they are feeling this way, can change so much. And just because someone is suicidal or having suicidal thoughts doesn’t mean they just need to be throw into a mental hospital, they could just need someone to talk to, someone to care. And then if they need it, it’ll be easier to suggest getting further help.

So, you may be thinking.. “I am not a mental health specialist or trained in MHFA… what can I do?”

Well, I have a great answer for you;

1. Get educated so you know when someone may be struggling or so you can identify warning signs. (Lucky for you, I have some info in this post! YAY)

2. Be loving, caring and supportive. Don’t lecture them, that’s the last thing they need. Just let them know that they are loved for, cared about and their life matters. They really just need a better support system, and there are better ways of bringing up getting the proper help with them and that comes with trust and comfort.

3. DO NOT tell them to “stop being negative,” or “Just be more happy or more positive.” Or that whatever they are upset about isn’t worth it or there are people out there who has it worst. DO NOT EVER SAY THAT. It’s just insulting to say that to someone who is thinking about hurting or killing themselves and it makes them feel worst then they already do, makes them feel that they don’t even deserve someone that truly will talk to them about what’s wrong.

* And also it DOES NOT matter how much worst someone else has it, everything we feel, everything we see and hear is OUR own perspective and OUR OWN reality and that’s serious. You don’t know or can never know how badly someone is hurt because you ARE NOT them, you cannot feel their emotions or hear their thoughts. Everyone struggles, yes, some people may have it worst… but that doesn’t mean you can minimize someone else’s pain.

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I know most of the things I’ve been saying in this post is get educated!

⇒Let’s say it one more time for the people in the back… GET EDUCATED! ⇐

My main philosophy for mental health education is ECCS: Education, Communication, Caring and Supporting

4 main things you can do need to do in talking to someone with a mental illness or talking to someone who is or can be suicidal. ECCS is very important in a one to one bases for making sure that person who is or can be suicidal gets better.

Now if this person IS suicidal and is trying to attempt or has a plan, follow MHFA’s AGLEE (5 step plan)

AGLEE (5 Step Plan) 

A ssess for risk of suicide or harm
L isten nonjudgmentally
G ive reassurance and information
E ncourage appropriate professional help
E ncourage self-help and other support strategies

Mental Health First Aid 

⇑(More In dept detail link)⇑

Getting Educated on Warning Signs

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline : 1-800-273-8255

Crisis Text line: Text HOME to 741741 (USA)

Below are suicide prevention, warning signs and ways to approach situations that may lead to suicide and are provided by the National Alliance of Mental Illness and American Foundation of Suicide Prevention (I take no credit in any of the information below or any information in the blockquotes; links are all provided):

Know The Warning Signs

  • Threats or comments about killing themselves, also known as suicidal ideation, can begin with seemingly harmless thoughts like “I wish I wasn’t here” but can become more overt and dangerous
  • Increased alcohol and drug use
  • Aggressive behavior
  • Social withdrawal from friends, family and the community
  • Dramatic mood swings
  • Talking, writing or thinking about death
  • Impulsive or reckless behavior

-National Alliance of Mental Illness


Warning Signs


If a person talks about:

  • Being a burden to others
  • Feeling trapped
  • Experiencing unbearable pain
  • Having no reason to live
  • Killing themselves


Specific things to look out for include:

  • Increased use of alcohol or drugs
  • Looking for a way to kill themselves, such as searching online for materials or means
  • Acting recklessly
  • Withdrawing from activities
  • Isolating from family and friends
  • Sleeping too much or too little
  • Visiting or calling people to say goodbye
  • Giving away prized possessions
  • Aggression


People who are considering suicide often display one or more of the following moods:

  • Depression
  • Loss of interest
  • Rage
  • Irritability
  • Humiliation
  • Anxiety

-American Foundation for Suicide Prevention


Approaching the Situation 

  • Remove means such as guns, knives or stockpiled pills
  • Calmly ask simple and direct questions, such as “Can I help you call your psychiatrist?” rather than, “Would you rather I call your psychiatrist, your therapist or your case manager?”
  • Talk openly and honestly about suicide. Don’t be afraid to ask questions such as “Are you having thoughts of suicide?” or “Do you have a plan for how you would kill yourself?”
  • If there are multiple people, have one person speak at a time
  • Ask what you can do to help
  • Don’t argue, threaten or raise your voice
  • Don’t debate whether suicide is right or wrong
  • If your loved one asks for something, provide it, as long as the request is safe and reasonable
  • If you are nervous, try not to fidget or pace
  • If your loved one is having hallucinations or delusions, be gentle and sympathetic, but do not get in an argument about whether the delusions or hallucinations are real

If you are concerned about suicide and don’t know what to do, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255

-National Alliance on Mental Illness


Together, we can all make a difference.. even if it’s difference in one life… it matters. Mental Health education needs to start and we need to seriously address suicide prevention plans!

Also as a reminder.. You matter so much. Please remember that. If you or anyone you know is suicidal, please please get help. I can’t stress how much you matter.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline : 1-800-273-8255

Crisis Text line: Text HOME to 741741 (USA)

You are amazing, you are loved, you are important,

With lots of love,



Posted in Life, Mental Health Awareness, Tips/Advice

When My Dress made Me Cry..

I ordered 3 things from @charlotterusse (aka one of my favorite stores), including a dress, a shirt and a sweater dress. And i was super excited.

20067187_191070414762895_7889025006221393920_nAs you all see, I’m a small and skinny person.
I got my package in the mail today and was super super excited. I ran upstairs and tried on the red dress first.
Well, the dress (size small) fits me perfectly on the bottom part (its a bodycon dress) and I already know I don’t have the best body. I don’t have any curves, or breasts or any butt at all.
And I know that, and I was kinda already getting use to it. And then this dress happened. And I honestly almost started crying because the chest (upper) part of the dress was so baggy.
And I thought to myself. I have no body at all. And how am I suppose to wear this and feel sexy?
I am a small and skinny person but sometimes I struggle with a positive body imagine. And I absolutely hate my body. (Will probably write a blog post about it later)


This was from my recent Instagram Post and here we are on the blog post about this.

I ate dinner after I posted this, leaving my phone to charge and I still felt pretty crappy. After dinner, I immediately went back upstairs and cried. I felt really insecure because the top of the dress was so loose and to me, it wasn’t good enough.

I wanted to get a dress that made me look my age (as a 20 year old in her junior year in college) and to look sexy for myself and also to impress my boyfriend. Even though I don’t really need to impress him, I still like to impress.

And as the night rolled around, I got amazing comments on my IG post. And they made me feel a lot better.

Thank you for sharing your story. I’m so sorry this dress made you feel bad about your body. You are a beautiful person, inside and out. I also appreciate that you bring up an issue often overlooked: self-identified “skinny” people often have poor body image and feel that they are not curvy/sexy/voluptuous/[insert adjective here] enough. Unfortunately, thinner women can be shamed for admitting their body image struggles. These women often hear, “As *if* you had anything to worry about… you’re skinny.” Sadly, poor self-esteem and body shaming is not reserved for any one body type. I am grateful that you brought up the subject and I hope there are some young ladies out there who feel less alone after seeing your post. Proud of you, sista. 💜 – Weld Like A Girl

And She has an amazing point. When you think of negative body image, it’s always about “obesity” or “overweight” women. Like my friend said, if I were to complain about my body, I’d get a “well at least your skinny.” or “What do you have complain about.” etc. etc.

Well, even if I have a skinny body, I can still have insecurities about my bodies. When I wore that dress, I felt pretty great until I realized how loose the top was. And it made me feel bad because obviously the dress is made for a women with more cleavage than I do. And I thought it would fit me, since it’s a size small. And it didn’t. And knowing how guys can be, I felt unattractive because the less amount of cleavage or butt that I may have.

The second comment comes from another mental health friend, Caitlin;

I appreciate your honesty. – Caitlin

Well, it was very hard to come out and say that so openly. But I was feel so bad about myself and I just let it out through social media. And I was a little afraid of the comments that I would get, if I got any at all. And I’m really happen that I have amazing followers/friends who love and support me like they do. So thank you for all the love, support and comments!

The next comment was from another one of my followers;

“Girl you are stunning! Just remember we are all different shapes and for me, as a curvy chick, j can’t wear certain types of clothes that slim women like you would look incredible – we aren’t all going to look incredible in the same things! BUT I do think the dress looks amazing!!!! I think you could get tho top altered to fit and it would be incredible! 💋” – The Art of Self Love

This comment really meant a lot, and I think that clothing shouldn’t be made or tailored to fit certain body types. All body types are beautiful and a women should be able to wear what they want to, what makes them feel comfortable, beautiful and sexy in.

Who cares what society says. Who cares if society says you can’t wear a crop top or whatever else because you’re not “skinny,” forget that!

Wear what makes YOU feel amazing in, because when you think you look amazing… you look absolutely stunning in, not just amazing! And that betters your self love and self confident.

So yeah, maybe I don’t have the body type that society desires… and yeah, maybe that top of the dress was too loose.

But I besides that, I look fantastic! And I’m going to make it work. Because I am beautiful, regardless if my body or looks aren’t up to society’s standards of beauty or sexy.

Forget Society! You are beautiful, You are amazing, you are sexy and you are worthy!

Keep it beautiful, keep being you and always remember…

Keep it dorky!

With lots of love,